PPP Parody: Percy Puppet Pals!
by PlotterFTW
Summary: A parody of Potter Puppet Pals with Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters! Second chapter: No longer in script format! Percy finds Luke's diary and runs off to share with his two best friends! R
1. The Vortex

Percy Puppet Pals – The Vortex!

**Hey guys! If you know Potter Puppet Pals, then you'll get this one…it's a parody of PPP, so I guess it's a parody of parody! I hope you can get a couple of laughs out of this!!!**

Cast: Luke, Chiron, Percy, Annabeth, Grover

Luke: Hey Chiron.

Chiron: *doesn't look up, when he realized who it was, he suddenly looked up with a jolt* Oh no! It's Luke! You're not about to tell me to surrender are you? Because then, then…*looks around* I'll hit you with my awesome leg! Yeah!

Luke: Tempting, but no.

Chiron: Oh. *relax * but then, what do you want?

Luke: Well, I had a dream. In slow motion, the flowers fell from my hands and shattered on the floor like glass, and when I looked into the mirror I was a beautiful milkmaid. Then I woke up crying, and I don't know why.

Chiron: Well, I once dreamt I was a baby pig living on a farm! Oink oink oink!

Luke: *exasperated * No Chiron! You don't understand! It was a life changing vision! I don't know if I'll ever—

Percy: *pushes Luke to the ground, Luke landing with a thud * Chiron! Chiron! We need your help! Demigod emergency!

Chiron: Oh boy! Let's go! Later milkmaid!

-change scenes-

Annabeth: Chiron! Grover's trapped in an alternate dimension!

Chiron: Oh not again!

Grover: *in a muffled voice, coming from the Vortex * Oh it's the most terrible thing! It tickles all the wrong way!

Percy: *rolls eyes * It wouldn't've happened if you weren't so fat! So what should we do Chiron?

Chiron: Hmm, fetch me my problem stick!

Percy: *runs off *

Grover: I think I'm going through puberty!

Annabeth: Don't go into the light Grover!

Percy: Here it is!

Chiron: Ah yes! My old friend! Let's see if I still remember how to do this…*poke poke*

*light disappears, Grover falls out *

Percy: Hey G-man, you OK? *pokes Grover with a stick *

Grover: *Stands up in leather jacket and sunglasses, voice suddenly deep * Percy, you kidding me? I never felt better! I'm a man now!

Percy: G-man, you need jeans to go with that.

Grover: *ignores * Sup Annabeth?

Annabeth: *blushes * Oh Grover!

Percy: HEY! No hitting on my girlfriend!

Grover: *ignores Percy still * It's G-string for ya!

Percy: o_O

Grover: 'Sup Chiron?

Chiron: Wow Grover! You're much cooler than Percy!

Percy: …WHAT?

Grover: *ignore * Let's have a beach party! On Olympus!

*random music starts playing, everybody dancing except Percy, who is processing the fact that Grover is taking over. *

Percy: NO! *pulls out a rabbit* Grover, do that again and the bunny's gonna kill you!

Grover: *whimper and the leather jacket and sunglasses disappear *

Percy: I rule Camp, y'hear! I'm top dog! No one can have more testosterone than me! Cuz I'm Percy Jackson, I'm the one of the Prophecy! I'm…Percy…Jackson…OK, y'hear?

Grover: *sniffle * I'm so sorry Percy!

Percy: Well good! Now let's have a dance party, on Olympus!

*random music starts playing again *

Percy: Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson!

*others begin slowly dancing *

Percy: I'm Percy Jackson I'm the King of the Camp, I'm better than anybody in the Camp! (Annabeth: Excuse me?) I'm hip and I'm awesome all the girls know my name, P-p-p-p-Percy Jackson that is my name! Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, do the shooby duwap!

Everyone else: Shooby duwap, shooby duwap!

Percy: My dad ditched me when I was a baby, but heck I'm awesome even when I was a baby! I caused tons of trouble, when I was a baby, I grew up bullied, but I had some love! Percy Jackson!

Everyone else: Shooby duwap!

Percy: Percy Jackson!

Everyone else: Shooby duwap!

Percy: Percy Jackson!

Everyone else: Shooby duwap!

Percy: That's me! *music stops * You guys are my best friends, you know that?

Annabeth: Oh Percy!

Chiron: Everything's gonna be alright Percy!

Annabeth: We'll always love you!

*Annabeth and Chiron hug Percy *

Grover: I will always love you too Percy!

Percy: Lose some weight before you hug me, Grover!

Grover: Huh?

Fin.

Well, what do you think? I know I know, there are people who have done it before (are there? I dunno), but what can I say? It's so much fun writing it! If you want anymore chapters, R&R and I'll write some more! Next up, no matter if there are reviews or not: Luke's Diary.


	2. Luke's Diary

**Luke's Diary **

**Much thanks to everyone who reviewed! I am terribly sorry about the absence of updates – but I have learned a lot in the past year and am ready to try and make a commitment to this story. **

**Thank you for pointing out that script format is not allowed. I will do my best to turn the script format into a narrative! **

**Potter Puppet Pals: Property of Neil Cicierega – talented guy! **

**Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Property of Rick Riordan **

**Without further ado… **

It was undoubtedly a beautiful day at camp. Helios must have been in a good mood – why else would the sun shine so brightly? The water was for once without turmoil, and the earth did not open up and swallow any campers. Everyone was quietly stabbing dummies or blowing things up, and even the lava on the climbing wall glistened in the sunlight. A perfect day.

Grover and Annabeth were enjoying a picnic at the dining pavilion, as Grover munched on grass (Annabeth kindly reminded him that Juniper would much prefer a slimmer goat) and Annabeth wondered, out loud, where Percy might be.

The Son of Poseidon was not up to noble tasks. In fact, he committed a crime unsuitable for the hero of the world: theft. It was quite a coincidence. Percy just "happened" to walk into the Hermes cabin (he's too embarrassed to admit that he had been looking for some kind of romantic present to Luke from Annabeth) and "accidentally" looked under the bed Luke used to have, and aside from finding three socks, five library books from 1970 (Percy smiled as he pictured the librarian, now in the Field of Asphodel, waiting for her books to come back), a picture of Travis Stoll dressed in a tutu, which Percy pocketed to use for blackmailing later, he found nothing. He was about to retreat from under the bed – he was quite certain that his glow-in-the-dark boxers, embroidered with "who's YOUR daddy?", was visible to anyone who would walk through the door – when something caught his eye. It was a leather-bound book, the stitches intricately sewn into the leather, with a delicate silver mini lock on it. Unlike everything else under the bunk, it wasn't dusty, and from the looks of it, it has been used regularly. Percy was about to throw it under another bed when he saw the silver cursive script upon it. It was murder with his dyslexic eyes, but after a minute or two he made out "Diary of Luke, son of Hermes", with the latter half scratched out half-heartedly with a Sharpie. Percy stared at it as images of Luke hurting him, hurting his friends, seducing his soon-to-be-girlfriend, kicking his horse, take his sword, kicking his horse—did he mention kicking his horse?—flooded through his mind. With a smirk sprawled across his face, he crawled back from under the bunk, his original intention of researching about the relationship between Annabeth and Luke long forgotten. Percy raced towards the dining pavilion, where Annabeth was patiently giving Grover relationship advices.

"Hey guys! Guess what I found!" he waved enthusiastically, yelling in the general direction of the unwilling counsellor and lovesick satyr.

"Oh!" Grover exclaimed. "Is that a book?"

"Well," Annabeth said, standing up and dusting off her jeans, "I know a thing or two about books, and that's a book!"

"It's not just any book!" Percy, now in front of the two, shoved the diary in front of their faces.

"Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?" Grover asked earnestly. Annabeth looked at him with a mixture of disgust and astonishment.

Ten seconds later, Grover was sulking in a corner of the pavilion. "Anyways," Percy said to Annabeth, "it's Luke's diary!"

"Let's read it!" Grover, now recovered from his emotional breakdown, skipped behind them and piped in.

"I've got a better idea!" Percy announced, looking scornfully at Grover from the corner of his eye. "Let's read it!"

"What a fantastic character study this will be!" Said Annabeth, who looked pleased.

Percy opened the book and they were all propelled into the special dimension that was Luke's mind.

The voice of Luke magically appeared and boomed. Percy jumped back into Annabeth, who playfully shoved him off.

An image of Luke, bending over the book, appeared before them in HD. They watched intensely and Luke appeared.

"Dear diary," he wrote, "today I had some oatmeal for breakfast. It was watery and tasteless, and it made me miss the food at camp. I thought of my mother. I cried."

"Oatmeal?" Grover exclaimed. "Annabeth! I'm hungry!"

"What else is new, fatty?" Percy scoffed while Annabeth rolled her eyes. Grover went to his emo corner, which magically appeared, and started shredding paper.

The projector started rolling again, and Luke's voice boomed out:

"Today, I went down to the gift shop on the Princess Andromeda and bought two baby hellhounds. One devoured the other and then died of loneliness. I felt envy."

"Emotional guy." Annabeth commented.

Percy snorted. "More like EMO."

Annabeth sighed in exasperation. "Whatever you say, seaweed. Oh look! I see both of your names on here!

"Really?" Grover's eyes lit up as he leaned over their shoulders to look at the diary. "Wow Annabeth, you're good at reading!"

Projector started humming again and the screen focused once more upon the tear-stricken face of Luke.

"Today, in an Iris message, the Percy boy gave me his middle finger! I attempted to punish him with Backbiter, but he yelled "BOTHER, BOTHER" through the illusion and did it some more. Later, when I attempted to contact Annabeth, Percy and his fat friend repeated the same violent act until I lost my consciousness and the message dissolved. Tonight, I prayed to the gods for the first time in twenty years: I prayed for the end."

"He's more than twenty?" Annabeth frowned. "He's been lying to me!"

"Never mind that!" Percy waved his hand dismissively. "Remember that, Grover? Gimme five!"

"You already took my money Percy…"

"Ugh!" Percy rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

The image of Luke pulled the three's attention back to the screen. "I lost a button on my shirt today…Kronos pointed it out in front of the entire army! Oh cruel attention!

_Button oh button, oh where hath thou fled?_  
_Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?_  
_Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist?_  
_How I wish I could follow thee into the mist!_

Annabeth looked sympathetic, and even Percy felt something akin to sadness. The moment, however, was ruined by Grover. "What's a bosom, Percy?"

"Yeah, tell him, Percy!" Annabeth smiled expectantly.

"Uh…look! Another page!"

"Today, in the bathtub…"

"EW!" The three shuddered in unison.

"I had a nightmare. I was riding a Pegasus through a thunderstorm . Every thunderclap dissolved into _THEIR_ voices 'Bother! Bother!' Suddenly it became music. I was at the hill with Thalia. I asked her to live. She asked me to die and turned into a tree! Would that I could Thalia, would that I could!"

"My cousin was awesome!" Percy yelped in delight.

"When I awoke my skin was prune-like from the tepid bath water and I was late for my date with the ugly hydra."

"Mmmm. I like prunes!" Grover smacked his lips. Annabeth gave him a warning look.

Chiron chose to prance up to the trio at this very moment. "Did somebody say prunes?"

"I said prunes!" Said Grover, astonished. He then whispered to Annabeth: "How did he know?"

"What are you ponies up to? Studying for the sing-along tonight?" Chiron looked over their shoulders.

"No, we're invading Luke's privacy by reading his personal diary which we stole from his old room!" Percy answered gleefully.

"Hmm." Chiron grunted, uninterested. Suddenly he perked up. "But you don't have any prunes, do you?"

Percy shrugged, unconcerned. "I'm afraid not."

"I'm very disappointed in you, Percy!" Chiron galloped away, rather undignified.

"Okay, back to the stinky book!" As he paid no attention to Chiron, Percy turned his focus back to the book. The magical projector and screen once again sucked them in.

"Today my ugly hydra date accidentally ate my sacrifice for Kronos. She promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste and the cafeteria erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the diners and was left to clean the monster's sick. Halfway through, the hideous Cyclopes janitors turned up and bragged about their many affairs with the cafeteria hellhounds. He then told me I smelt of broccoli and left without wishing me a happy Birthday. I thought of my father. I cried.

Instead of sympathy, Percy scoffed. "This got boring. Let's write a new entry!"

"That's a really fun idea!" Grover concurred.

Annabeth dug out Riptide from Percy's pocket. "Here's the pen that you carry with you at all times! Nerd!"

Percy stabbed the pen into the paper angrily. "Okay. I am Luke. I'm so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I fight for Kronos and it's really boring because I don't want to be Hermes' son and he never makes any "Luke, I am your father" cracks when he visits. I hate Percy Jackson because he's so cool and he makes me have depression. I think I'll go cry now but not before I poop my pants because... Bye!"

Grover, who idolized the particular entry, asked with googly eyes: "Can I try?"

Percy handed him Riptide. "Be my guest."

"I...M...S…" Grover diligently scrawled his letters.

Annabeth grabbed the pen back. "Grover, that was a good try. Let's work on love letters next."

Suddenly an Iris message appeared, and Luke's once-handsome face replaced the screen. "I went to check my cabin at Camp and it was ransacked! Wait, what in Hades are you doing with that book?"

"Luke! Best friend! Grover stole your diary!" Percy was quick to point fingers.

"WHAAAT?" Luke's voice boomed and his face went pale. "You didn't read it, did you?"

"Oh he read it alright!" Percy smirked. "He read it ALL!"

"This is unacceptable! The Titan lord shall destroy you!"

"I liked your story about the button, Luke." Grover interjected timidly.

Luke's face softened. "You…you did?"

Grover nodded and said innocently: ": It made me sad thinking about that little button, lost and alone. I hope you find your button Luke! You may be evil, but that shouldn't befall anyone!"

Luke looked like he was about to cry. "So do I, fat one." He sniffled. "So do I."

**Well, that concludes another chapter! What do you think of the new format? Like it, hate it? Please review, and C&C is always appreciated! Until next time, my dears!**


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